Back from Turkey. It's a nice place, very different from other Islam countries. The culture is more similar to Europe side. Gonna upload some pictures soon, but I'm just too lazy. Haha.
Jet lag. Insomnia. I didn't even get to take a short nap on the flight around 12 hours. I can only sleep around 4 am and then wake up around 8am recently. If I slept around 2am, I would have nightmare and then stay awake till the next day. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I remember that there was a time, nightmares haunted me almost everyday. Seriously, I don't want to go back to that time. Saying is always easier than done. That's all I can say. You always say you're here with me. Yes, I know and I'm not blaming you for sure. You're always here all the time. It's just, whenever I feel scared, you're not here. You're not here when I need somebody the most. You do appear, but before or after the moment that I 'm scared, the most. I know this isn't your fault.
It's him. Why. Please teach me how to stay alone in fear and dark. I'm already numb. My hope disappoints me, not you.
You're nice, it's just I'm hoping for too much. Sorry.
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